4-20-10

The day is new and beautiful. Yet there is an apprehension I cannot quite name, or put my finger on. Maybe it is the fact that I didn't sleep a week last night (12/24/10 same as last night...). Maybe it is the idea that I am so codependent than I ever thought. Perhaps, lastly, that I have lost faith in my ability to make myself happy. Or maybe it is some combination of those things. We must make due with what we are given I guess. Life has a strange way of only allowing us not quite enough information to make a decision that we would deem "informed" but enough to make us think that inaction would be the wrong course of action. I am going to try today to find the beauty that is around me and use it to make me appreciate still having my soul in my body. Life, like a river, flows always. We, as swimmers, can choose to fight it, or go against it, always knowing that either way we are the ultimate masters of our own fate.