when she laughs I feel like a part of me is better for it.
it seems that I am never what I would like myself to be.
yet I am always that which I find to be me.
I am.
right?

tonight I find myself at a quandary: wait.
or flee.

I highly dislike how someone else can so easily influence my state.

I need to find a place in myself that needs none of this that my current psyche is feeding off of and growing more powerful with the moment.

Fuck.

nothing in my brain allows me to stop.

So I fall again...

damn it all to hell and back if there is such a place...